Well, what a busy month June has been! And is it just me or are the months flying by quicker and quicker?! Before we know it, it'll be Christmas again!

My month started of rather stressfully as I was trudging through the last of my uni exams. It was pretty intense, but I think I handled it pretty well, and I'm happy to say that I finished this year with a nice 2.1. I now only have one more year left of university, and looking back on the last year, I'm definitely happy with the decisions I made.

Mid-month, exams were finished, and I went to see Beyoncé with my sister! So it was actually the 8th time I've seen her live (I'm a bit of a crazy hardcore member of the hive, I'm not sorry), but every time I see her, she is no less amazing. She literally never ceases to amaze me with her talent, her artistry, and her performance. I always say, everyone has to see Beyoncé at least once in their life, because no one can compare in terms of performance. This was her joint stadium tour with Jay-Z, (who I've seen once before too), and it really was an amazing performance. They still have some tour dates left so if they're in your city - definitely try and catch them!

This time last year, I was on my year of intermission, incredibly unhappy on my course but equally fearful of making the change onto a new course, which I knew would lead to me having to do an extra year of university, on my own, as all my friends have graduated. I ended up taking the plunge after a lot of deliberation, and wow, what a difference it has made. 

I can appreciate that the fact that I've enjoyed this year has a lot to do with my mental health recovery, and my much more stable mental state, but I'm also feeling so much more engaged in my course, I feel enthused and inspired. 

The past week or so, which has been graduation week for my friends, has been rather difficult, nevertheless. It's been a funny old week. We've had lots of fun to celebrate the end of exams and the end of the academic year - I've been hungover or drunk more days than not, and I've made so many memories with some of my best friends. But it also marks the end of a chapter for my friends, as they go off to work, further study or travel, which means that it's also kind of the end of an era for me. I feared that I'd have an overwhelming sense of being left behind, and I do a little bit, but I'm trying to think of it differently. I'm trying to think of this last year as a personal challenge - a chance for me to work hard and get this degree, and also to push myself to make new friends, so that I don't ever become isolated. I know it'll be tough, but what a difference my mindset is in now. A year ago, there was no way I could've processed this so positively - I would've been weighed down by anxiety and dread, but now, I finally think I can do it - and do it well. I'm kind of excited for the year to come.

It was also my birthday this month too! I've turned 22 (but let's refrain from singing any Taylor Swift, please). I'm actually starting to feel a bit old. From the age of 16 or so, I've seen all those around me growing up, but in all honesty, I've continued to feel like a child. Turning 21 was this huge milestone, but I felt nothing like an adult. I think that's starting to change now. It sounds a bit silly, but I think all my experiences this past year and a half have really changed me. I've had to push myself, and I've achieved things I never thought I'd be able to. I've been able to tackle more social situations, I've taken risks that I would never have dreamt of a year or two ago, and I've met people who have truly changed and inspired me. 

I guess that's the funny thing about life. It can be so stagnant for so long, and you can see nothing changing anytime soon. And then, without warning, everything changes, and it all happens at once. The 20 year old me wanted to give up. She was desperately unhappy, gravely depressed, taking time out of uni to recover, and completely lost in life. It's so different now. I feel stable. I feel optimistic. Not everything is perfect, there are still things I want to improve on, I know there's more steps I need to take to keep my mental health on the right track, but for now, I'm ok, and it feels great to be able to say that after such a long time. 

I guess the point of this post is to reiterate that slightly cliché, but very true saying, that if you're struggling in life, if you feel like giving up, keep on going. Because there is something good coming around the corner, you just have to be patient for it. 

Until next time, 
Bisous <3


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