"Catharsis is about cleansing and healing at one and the same time - healing memories and attitudes, healing the spirit and the heart." - Desmond Tutu

Hello, lovelies! 

I'm back for another Friday Thoughts! I guess this one is a little follow up to my last post all about my road to recovery and journey with mental health. I'm continually overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I get from all of you who read this blog, but there is no time this is more profound than when I write about my health issues. Initially, I was extremely hesitant to begin writing about such personal topic. It's incredibly daunting, opening up in that way for anyone to read, but there was a point during this intermission where I felt as though I had nothing to lose, and decided to try to write my first post on mental health. (You can read it here, if you'd like to catch up!) I often get messages from you guys saying how 'brave' I am for writing these posts, and I really appreciate that. But I guess what I've come to feel a sense of duty, to you all, as my readers, to share with you all my experience, so that if it can help someone out there who is suffering in any way at all, I can say that my blog has achieved something good.

At this stage, I can't produce posts giving you tips or advice on dealing with anxiety and depression, which I hope someday I will be able to do, because in truth, right now I'm still struggling through and trying to figure this out. But the one thing I can do, is keep a track of what I feel now, how I'm coping now, and what I'm doing to try to get better, in the hope that any of you out there going through something similar, can take some comfort in the fact that you are by no means alone. Sometimes it helps to read something in which someone has articulated your feelings so you don't have to, I certainly know that reading and watching others talk about their experiences of depression and anxiety helped me to get help and understand the illness more. so I hope that for some of you... Recently it's struck me that every time I write a more personal post, I feel a little less anxious about it. Indeed, I guess, in a sense, the writing is therapy in itself. An emotional purge, if you will. 

I guess it's a sort of catharsis, writing about something so personal. When starting this blog, I never really thought that it would become such a personal space. I'd always intended to keep it a space focused solely on fashion and beauty. It's funny how the content evolves, as your needs change.

I remember when I was young and I used to keep a little diary, something every young girl has done I'm sure. It was an awfully girly dinky little purple groovy chick one, complete with a pink gel pen and pad lock, and when i got it, I remember making a promise to myself to write in it every night. See, I'd been reading a lot of Jacqueline Wilson (omg best author everrr) books at the time and all the cool characters seemed to write a diary, so that's what I was going to do too. Did I keep it up? Pfftttt, yeah right, get real, but to be fair to myself, I kept it up for a good few weeks before I finally put my inner Bridget Jones to bed. I'd write about my day, what I watched and did, and it became awfully repetitive, but it was sort of cathartic, even at that young age.

When starting counselling to help with my mental health, my counsellor recommended that I start keeping a mood diary of sorts. I was apprehensive at first; the idea of taking up diary writing again and writing about my feelings and emotions seemed far too draining and almost counter productive. I was worried that writing every day would be just too much of a commitment; that I would wallow in those feelings by taking the time to dwell on them and articulate them far better in writing. But I was pleasantly surprised. Writing in my little mood journal, without pressure or judgement, has helped me acknowledge my negativity and overthinking, instead of trying to suppress it. There's something incredibly comforting in words. Almost as though, if something has been put pen to paper, then its real, and you haven't imagined it. (I hope this makes sense!) Writing things down and tracking my mood has almost legitimised them, in a sense. It's helped me to acknowledge them myself, and realise that you can accept and recognise these negative thoughts for what they are, without indulging in them. I guess I have realised that I have liberated my inner Bridget Jones once more, though, not being the comic genius that she is, in a much more miserable and melancholy way!

The other day I was pondering over the idea that, in a sense, the digital age has meant that these blogs, our little spaces on the internet, have become our diaries. Twitter, instagram, and finally, blogging have become our personal outlets, our virtual diaries, where instead of sharing our days, our thoughts, and sometimes our innermost feelings with a little old book, we share them with the world, with complete strangers. It's a funny old thing, the digital age, right?

Last Friday, when I sat down to write my Friday Thoughts and all that emotional waffle fell onto the page, I felt something like catharsis. It's moments like that when you realise how important it is to write a blog for yourself, as well as for others. 

So, I guess I'll finish with this: next time you're feeling like you're harbouring all your emotions, write them down. Put pen to paper. Or, at the very least jot things down in the notes section of your phone. Allow yourself the time to indulge in an emotional splurge. You'd be surprised how much better you feel afterwards.

Catharsis. It's good for the soul, and it would seem like we all need it.

Until next time,
Bisous <3



T-Shirt: Forever 21
Jeans: Topshop
Blazer: H&M
Shoes: Topshop
Jewellery: Topshop
Bag: Zara (something similar here)
Sunglasses: Ray-Ban
Belt: Gucci

What's your opinion?