FRIDAY THOUGHTS: ACCEPTING WHAT'S NOT MEANT TO BE

Friday, 23 February 2018






"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it." - Michael J. Fox

So, I know today's post was supposed to be about comfort zones, and rest assured I do still intend to write that post. But this week I've had to learn a valuable lesson, and since it's still fresh in my mind, I thought I'd write about that instead.

Yesterday I experienced something that made me realise that something I was hoping was going to happen, really wasn't ever going to be on the cards. I'm definitely too proud to say this in real life, but somehow on paper (or virtual paper lol), it's much easier to admit this: it hurt. It hurt quite a bit. It brought back old feelings of inadequacy, rejection and insignificance that I'd been doing well to suppress on the day to day. 

I was laying in bed overthinking (what else is new lol), and decided to have a little read through my blog archive, to see what I'd written when I'd experienced something similar.

And I came across this post; 'An Ode to the Unrequited Crush'. I remain super proud of that post, I still find it pretty hilarious (not to toot my own horn or anything lol!), but what struck me was the underlying message. The message that sometimes, what we want to happen just isn't going to happen, and we have to learn to move on. 

See, I'm really not the best at accepting what's not meant to be. I'm very stubborn by nature, and so when I'm told no, I disregard it. I'm also very hopeful. I'm constantly saying in the back of my head, 'well, maybe it may not have happened today, but it could happen next week?' 

I've never been one that's minded waiting, if I knew I'd get what I wanted in the end. But how long do you wait for things to 'fall into place'? A couple of weeks? A month? Six months? A year? 5 years?

I'm always so sure I know what's right; what I want and need for myself, and it's pretty difficult when the big ol' man in the sky says, "no, I have other ideas." It's hard to accept that it's very possible that there's a far bigger picture, and what you think you want now just isn't a part of it. 

But there comes a point where you have to come to terms with the fact that you can't control everything. Indeed, there is very little that you can control. You can't control what other people do, what other people think, and most of all, you can't control how other people feel. All you can do is do you - be yourself, live your life, and try to do so without too much expectation. That way, when something you passively want to happen does in fact come into fruition, it's so much more unexpected and enjoyable, that when you've had it on your mind constantly. 

When I say live life without expectation, I'm not saying don't have goals or hopes. Of course, you should, it's what keeps us motivated. But don't let them become the centre of your world, because then what are you left with when you get told no, and everything shatters around you?

Life is a funny old thing. Whether we want to admit it or not, the vast majority of us have a 'plan'. Depending on how neurotic you are, you may have factored in everything. From the people in it, to the years or months each achievement will happen by. I'm definitely of that ilk, lol! 

But my friend said something particularly poignant to me earlier. She said, 'sometimes you're just living through things that you're yet to learn the significance of, and that's ok." I realised how true that was. I may not have got exactly what I wanted this time around, because there is something better waiting for me around the corner, and I won't know that until I get there. Or maybe there isn't, and this was just another disappointment that I can count as a 'character building experience'. It's ok, either way. 

We're all familiar with that famous saying: 'what is meant to be will be'. When you're not getting what you want, this is so difficult to accept. I guess it takes a small leap of faith. But if you can, I think it's a leap worth taking. It's can be rather liberating when you accept that sometimes, things are out of your hands; when you're able to trust in something greater, call it God, the Universe, or simply a trust in yourself. That things will be ok, whether it's what you were hoping would happen, or not. I guess sometimes we have to remind ourselves that life is a rollercoaster, one that we're taking blindfolded. We may not have got what we wanted now, but accept it, move on - there'll be a peak later on that will be far more enjoyable. Sometimes we have to just sit back and enjoy this funny old ride we call life. 

"Letting go doesn't mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be." - Unknown

Until next time, 
Bisous <3

Eva
xxx

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